My “brother” ( from another mother) (who is my older brothers best friend and his wife) asked if I could help them out for a few days with their kids, while the wife had to deal with out -of -state family matters. I agreed. Like most caring adults, when I got to their home, I quickly learned my way around the neighborhood, put my cell phone contact info the kids phones, gave them spare change, introduced myself to their coaches and teachers, started my day very early to help them out of bed, to school, to camp, to practice, to the bus, prepared their meals and gave them advise on homework and test prep. At the end of the day, I was eager to ask each of them the ultimate question (that I asked Justin daily) which was “How was your day?” Then, I got the usual answer, that Justin often gave me, most of the time, and that was “Good.”
Yesterday, out of blue, Chauncey, the 10 year old boy, asked me, “ Aunt Susan, Do you think about Justin?” I looked at him with a smile and said, “EVERYDAY, and usually all day. I will never FORGET Justin.” Then he asked: “ Can I ask you ANY question about Justin?” I said, “ABSOLUTELY, and as often as you want.” With the biggest Kool Aid smile he said “OK, I will, thank you very much!”
Today, Chauncey asked: “What did you usually fix Justin to eat? I told him that Justin loved all types of foods and I fixed him everything I could possibly think of and I encouraged him to try a variety of foods. So, Chauncey ( who only likes limited foods) you should try different things you may like them, just like Justin did.” He frowned at me and said: MAYBE!
Then I said, “Chauncey, Do you remember that you did not like to go to swimming lessons when you were 6 years old? In the beginning, you cried during every lesson. Then he said proudly, “Well, that was THEN, and NOW, I love to swim and my favorite stroke is
“the B U T T E R F L Y ; just like Justin’s!” Then he proceeded to show-and -tell-me how the dolphin kick supports the butterfly stroke. Watching his animated jesters made me smile.
Offering support to my extended family, if only for a few days, made me instantly fall back into the routine l longed for daily during this past year. Not only did I quickly realize how much I missed being a mom-Justin’s Mom, but I was also forced to get a glimpse back into juggling family matters and multi-tasking. This family living lifestyle albeit brief helped me appreciate the gift that I was given to be Justin’s Mom. I did my best and my best was good enough. Justin may be out of sight, but forgetting him will never be part of my life equation.
Subsequently, I was prompted to look up info on the forget-me-not flower AFTER I titled this short blog today. Really, see what it means, I can’t make this up:
According to Wikipedia, there is a story behind the name of this flower (Forget Me Not) . Following is a quotation from Wikipedia:
Charming, diminutive forget-me-nots are delicate plants with beautiful little blue flowers. While they do come in pinks and whites, it’s the blues that people find most delightful. Forget-me-nots are excellent in pots, as edgings, and planted close as a groundcover. These short-lived plants, mostly treated as biennials, reseed generously.
In a German legend, God named all the plants when a tiny unnamed one cried out, “Forget-me-not, O Lord!” God replied, “That shall be your name.” Another legend tells when the Creator thought he had finished giving the flowers their colors, he heard one whisper “Forget me not!” There was nothing left but a very small amount of blue, but the forget-me-not was delighted to wear such a light blue shade.
Henry IV adopted the flower as his symbol during his exile in 1398, and retained the symbol upon his return to England the following year.
In 15th-century Germany, it was supposed that the wearers of the flower would not be forgotten by their lovers. Legend has it that in medieval times, a knight and his lady were walking along the side of a river. He picked a posy of flowers, but because of the weight of his armour he fell into the river. As he was drowning he threw the posy to his loved one and shouted “forget me not”. It was often worn by ladies as a sign of faithfulness and enduring love.”
Like the Forget-me not flower, Justin was charming, and beautiful and he loved blue. And, boy was he short lived but he gave generously while he graced this earth. During my next trip to get flowers for Justin’s garden, I will certainly purchase some “forget me nots” in honor of my true blue -baby- boy Justin. Like my friend Bill said “ Justin was “An extended hand, a warm embrace, a presence so rare. I wish I could have bottled it to save for many lifetimes.” You got that right Bill, oh so I wish so too.
Justin was a forget-me-not for sure!!!!
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