I wrote this in June 2013
THIS ALL HAPPENED IN ONE WEEK…
This was another tough week, without Justin, but there were a few things that happened that made me wonder and smile about the power of transition…
I mentioned last week that I have a new friend Ruth whom I met in a Grief Support Group. Even though she is 89 years old, she still feels the same as me about losing a child because she lost her daughter two months ago. Since she lives far away from me, I introduced her to my friends Helen and Nasreen, whom live very close to her, just so she could have friends near by.
Last Thursday before our group started, Ruth handed me two small jewelry boxes with Japanese writing on the outside. One box had an origami like pendant of a fish and the other a bird. They were made in Japan. She said she got them over 30 years ago when she was on a Photography trip in Hong Kong. I mentioned to Ruth that Justin’s last piece of art was a collage of words in the shapes of origami cut outs and he purposely left blank and cut out a shape of a fish and a bird (As Justin’s Art teacher told us shortly after he passed away).
So Ruth told me I could keep both of them. That night I told Helen about the gift she was not going to get. That night during the class, Ruth also took off the necklace that she was wearing, (it was years old with macramé, turquoise and bronze beads) and gave it to me because she said it matched my turquoise earrings that I was wearing. I was embarrassed but she insisted that I take it.
The following Friday, I went to visit Justin’s Art Teacher Ms. Hall. As soon as I walked in her house she said, “ Oh, I found the cut out of the bird and the fish from Justin’s original art.” I immediately showed her what I got the night before from Ruth. We sat there in amazement.
On Father’s Day, Darrell and I went to visit Justin. After played the H-W Choir tribute to him (Man in the Mirror) a beautiful butterfly landed on the flowers we had just placed for our baby.
In case you are wondering, Justin’s favorite swim stroke was the hardest and it was the butterfly. The turquoise and brown have become Justin’s signature colors because he loved the colors blue and brown. We also released butterflies after Justin’s service at the church and at the cemetery…
Wednesday, I met Justin’s friend Sophie and her Mom Lori for Tea. I showed them the fish and the birds and the necklace I had gotten from Ruth along with the cut outs from Ms. Hall. Lori handed me a pink box and inside were a pair of beautiful bronze and turquoise earrings that matched the necklace from Ruth perfectly. I started to cry and said OMG. They knew nothing about my story of Ruth.
Today, Darrell and I went to visit Ruth. She wanted to meet Darrell so they could talk about Photography. When I walked in she handed me a small Tiffany pouch and clearly said “ This is something for Helen since you got the bird and the fish, and “IT IS SURELY NOT FROM TIFFANY’S!” I just needed something to put it in. When I looked inside it was a piece of costume jewelry in the shape of a butterfly. I said stop! Ruth said what is going on? I shook my head and said this is something.
When we returned home tonight, Nasreen sent me a picture of a beautiful butterfly that was resting on the shrubs in her yard. It looked identical to the butterfly that Darrell and I saw on Sunday. She said, as long as she has lived in her home, she has never seen such a butterfly. It looked like the one we say on Sunday. And I believe that it is possible that if flew from our house in the East all the way to the West side.
All of the attached pictures are real with no computer alterations done at all. Check them out and let me know what you think!!
Lastly, I just checked my email and my friend Donna sent me this earlier today:
It feels to me like so many messages from Justin. He knows that you are vigilantly (sp) looking for signs and uncovering the clues. He knows just how to communicate with his precious parents. I wanted to understand the symbolism of the butterfly message and here is the result of my very first hit. “Overwhelmingly, cultural myth and lore honor the butterfly as a symbol of transformation because of its impressive process of metamorphosis…Imagine the whole of your life changing to such an extreme you are unrecognizable at the end of the transformation. Mind you, this change takes place in a short span of about a month too (that’s how long the butterfly life cycle is). Herein lies the deepest symbolic lesson of the butterfly. He asks us to accept the changes in our lives as casually as he does. The butterfly unquestioningly embraces the chances of her environment and his body. This unwavering acceptance of her metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith. Here the butterfly beckons us to keep our faith as we undergo transitions in our lives. He understands that our toiling, fretting and anger are useless against the turning tides of nature – He asks us to recognize the same.” That is a message I am forwarding, with love, compassion and respect, from the universe. Those are not my bolds. Donna
BUTTERFLY WINGS & PRETTY THINGS
**** Just a few weeks later I wrote this passage the day they came to film the CBS2 News Emmy Award Winning “Justin’s Story
“Butterfly Wings & Pretty Things”
I had to contact Agent Nikita (Mo) for assistance in making me camera ready for the tribute to our Justin Carr World-Peace. She secured the premises and directed me to the small
Hideaway where I was able to purchase poste haste a pretty top that would be in line with Justin Carr World-Peace signature turquoise and brown colors.
After my trip to the garden, Darell Carr and I pulled up at the house at the same time. He went in first. When I got to the front door I dropped my keys. When I picked them up I noticed a wing of a swallowtail butterfly on the door mat.
I called Darrell and said will you look at this!!! We were speechless…,
Then the crew came. The camera man introduced himself with an Australian accent. I said ” What did you say your name was? “He said “Justin”. I then had to walk back in the house. The reporter (whom I never
met ) came and she was donning a turquoise shirt. I did not say a word. During our discussion she said she did not want to wear black, she wanted to wear something bright and colorful. When I mentioned about Justin’s infamous colors, her mouth dropped. Then she told us that she use to swim in high school. I can’t make this stuff up.. I will let you know when the story will be playing on a TV near you in a few weeks. Enough said.. I have to go to bed. When I went to the garden, I did play ” the prayer” for my baby today. I guess he continues to watch over us and guide us with his grace. There are no words, except I love and miss you Justin my butterfly 24/7 — with Justin Carr World-Peace.
Keep us in your prayers as we make this unimaginable journey.
xoxo Susan & Darrell