This Little Light of Mine “Happy 20th Bday Justin”

This Little Light of Mine, I’m Going to Let Him Shine

As most of you have witnessed over the past 3.5 years sans Justin, Darrell and I tuck away the pain in our heart—every waking hour—every single day. We cycle through the days, week’s months, holidays and milestones and we hold each memory of our joy with Justin close to our hearts. This will continue for a lifetime and will repeat, day after day, and month after month. So, it’s not unusual that for over a year, I have been cautiously anticipating this day—Justin’s birthday—September 13th. He would have been 20 years old… Justin was and will always be our greatest gift. He is our guiding light!

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Happy 20th Birthday honey!

The other day, I went to my usual nursery—where I am known as the flower lady. Before I got out of the car, I spotted a pot full of flowers that were almost in the shape of a round cake. I knew at that moment that I did not have to look any further. I motioned to the gardener to pick out the two prettiest plants. I asked him: What type of flowers they were. He cheerfully said: “mums.” I thought to myself, how appropriate— because in England “mum” also means mother and we know that “Mother’s knows best” and I will always be “Justin’s Mom aka Mum.”

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After he loaded the flowers into my car, I started up the engine. The song blasting over the radio was: “ Tears from Heaven.” I know you all remember that song by Eric Clapton. Well, I don’t have to tell you what I did next … I first wanted to switch stations right away to spare the tears, but then I caught myself as I bravely listened intensely to the words. Subsequently, I let the tears flow. That was a good thing.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
‘Cause I know I don’t belong here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way through night and day
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay here in heaven
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging, please
Beyond the door, there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven…

Written by Eric Patrick Clapton, Will Jennings • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group
Justin was our center.

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JUSTIN 4TH GRADE
JUSTIN 4TH GRADE

Justin was our “whole world” in our hands

Justin's friends at School 2013
Justin’s friends at School 2013

 

 

 

 

 

Justin had the whole world in his hands

We are so grateful that we have so many people who are wrapping their hands around us. We have learned that there are many things and encounters that help give us hope—hope for a future that includes embracing life again.
So as we celebrate my baby, with the well-received gifts… Don’t just read, take heed following is a life-saving message…

 

 

GIFT #1 “The Good Samaritan”

Last year, a brave and determined stranger, Laurel Travis, approached me at a seminar. She said: “ You do not know me, but I know all about your great loss. I work for a Cardiologist and we saw Justin’s Story on television. To spare other families from going through an unimaginable loss of losing a child, I started “Safe Heart Screening ”, a heart screening foundation, in honor of your son. I was dumbfounded. Through Laurel’s dedication, research, and good work, she introduced us to the new state of the art life-saving ECG/EKG machine. It’s a handheld device (blue no doubt) that can identify young athletes who are at risk for sudden cardiac arrest. “CardeaScreen is a convenient, hand-held electrocardiographic (ECG) device, a diagnostic tool that measures and records the electrical activity of the heart. Specifically attuned to the normal characteristics of the athletic heart, CardeaScreen helps physicians who are conducting Pre-Participation Exams (PPE) identify athletes with abnormal heart conditions who may be at risk for sudden cardiac arrest. CardeaScreen helps identify young athletes who are at risk of sudden cardiac arrest (SCA).”

In hindsight, Darrell and I wished that we had this knowledge in our hands so that we could have possibly known about Justin’s condition and spared his untimely death…

Cardeascreen Machine
CardenScreen Machine

 

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT #2 Save the Date; Save a Life

Justin attended St. Marks School for Kindergarten and he was also an acolyte and in the choir up until 6th grade at the church. They are opening up their doors for this special event.  Thank you.

Justin in his St. Marks Choir uniform
Justin in his St. Marks Choir uniform

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Safe heart Screening http://www.safeheartscreening.com
will be doing ECG screenings for girls and boys age 12-25 in honor of Justin. It will be hosted at Saint Marks Episcopal Church in Altadena, CA on Sunday, October 16, 2016, from 10:00 to 4:00 p.m. Please go to the SafeHeart Screening  website to sign up !
The actual test takes about 16 seconds with an allotment of 15 minutes for the process with each person. $25.00 donation for screening.

 

SMILE Lady Susan (holding the testing machine) & Darrell
SMILE Lady Susan (holding the testing machine) & Darrell

Gift #3 Keep Smiling for Justin

Debra Johnson aka the SMILE Lady is a member of our Community. She knew Justin very well. SMILE is her acronym for Support, Motivate, Invest, Love, and Educate. And Johnson is on a mission, one “to promote all aspects of SMILE and to spread a little joy,” she said. Tune into the Pasadena Community Network Channel 32, Arroyo 32, for more about the heart-testing event. “I want to help your child tap into their inner SMILE and purpose. After all, we were all born to SMILE and we’re all destined to leave this place better than we found it,” Johnson said.

This journey that we are on is sometimes difficult, but as I looked at the homework assignment that Justin did in the 3rd grade tonight,

Justin's 3rd grade Science Project
Justin’s 3rd grade Science Project

 

I know that I too will continue to transform from a chrysalis and find catalysts that can move me towards finding my voice and wings once again.

 

 

 

 

Justin's 3rd Grade Butterfly Project
Justin’s 3rd Grade Butterfly Project

Justin is my butterfly. I will never forget him. I know he wants me to accept his metamorphosis and to find new ways to live. As we emerge from the darkness and seek inner peace, I will continue to try and love this life, and live bravely, faithfully and as cheerfully as I can with Justin—our guiding light you along the way.

 

 

“This little light of mine, I’m going to let him shine, let him shine let him shine…”

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Miss you always and love you forever!! Happy Heavenly Birthday Justin.

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Love, OTTO

A envelope Justin addressed to me...HIs OTTO
An envelope Justin addressed to me…His OTTO

 

 

 

 

 

Visit our website to make a donation to help kids or to learn more about Justin

http://www.justincarrwantsworldpeace.org/

11 thoughts on “This Little Light of Mine “Happy 20th Bday Justin””

  1. I love that the concentric ripples of Justin’s spirit keeps moving out into the world and causing great things to happen! You and Darrel really did give birth to a miracle man – happy birthday Justin. You are in spirit now but your life presence is still very much a present to us on earth!

  2. I am so grateful to have just met you both in Hawaii, outstanding parents and ambassadors of love for Justin. I sure wish I could have met him. The world needs more truly good people like he was. Sending loads of love and Aloha.

  3. Happy Birthday, Justin! Thinking of you, especially today! Your short life is so hard to understand but your parents are a mission to make sure you are never forgotten! When I think of you, I see your beautiful smile & how contagious it must have been. The things you did, in such a short time, had such impact on the people you met! You have created a legacy that we are so proud to be apart! Love you, Justin Carr! Let the Beat Go On …….❤️

  4. As always a beautiful message to and about your son. What an incredible kid he was. Now that I’ve gotten to know you- And to learn about Justin through your actions, I can see why he was such a stellar humanitarian. Justin continue to light up the celestial skies with your love and grace. And if you run into a tall, intelligent, shaggy haired fellow traveler who loves music, nature and his family, please tell him I love him so very much. X

  5. As always, your posts are so poignant and beautiful. My heart is full of love and care when I read and look. You remind me to be a tolerant and appreciative mom to my 17-year-old daughter who is challenging right now, as she pulls away to become her own person as grows into adulthood.

  6. Dear Susan and Darrell,
    Thank you for sharing, once again, the love of your son, Justin, with us. There is something beautiful about how vulnerable you are regarding the heartbreak and the healing of the last 3 years. I know we cannot be changed, or accept what God wants to give us, if we are not vulnerable. You are an amazingly hopeful example of love and vulnerability. You probably don’t realize what a blessing you both are to those with whom you share your journey.

  7. So much love, pain and wisdom in your words, Susan. I am so grateful for you. Thinking of you today and always,
    Margaret

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